Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Rise & Shine Time - Strategies to Motorvate Your Mornings

• You can make getting out of bed in the morning easier if you can learn to sleep standing up. 

• Call me a bad parent if you want to, but I’ve found that one way to get kids moving faster in the morning is to threaten to beat the everlasting crap out of them.

• Hate to get in a cold car in the morning? Just start it up the night before and let it run all night. 

• Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and realize that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day for your live-in maid to get all the chores you assign her done.

• Listen to me, Science:  it’s a fork with toothbrush bristles built right on it. C’mon, do I gotta invent everything?

• Enjoy fresh-squeezed OJ but feel like you don’t have the time? Try throwing a few peeled oranges into a blender, then putting your mouth over the top and flipping the switch.

• Instead of hitting your alarm clock with a hammer, try hitting it with a mallet. 

• Starting your day with an two hours of meditation and quiet reflection will give you the peace of mind to accept the fact that… oh crap… you’re RUNNING SO FREAKIN’ LATE. 

• An easy way to make toast is to use a toaster, dumbass.

• Looking to save time? Simply fill your mouth with instant coffee and then pour in boiling water.

7 comments:

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  2. Aren't your kids supposed to get up on their own, make your breakfast, then do the chores? Why are you waking them?

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  3. Ingenious ideas. I will let you know how these work out for me, lol.

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  6. "You can make getting out of bed in the morning easier if you can learn to sleep standing up. " You are friggin crazy, LOL!!!!

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